My past life in the soul construct (sci-fi)

I remember being at a choice. There was a master - the one that was closest to me - did not answer any of my questions - nor really gave me direction, like really silent. I thought he was there to support me, but instead I assumed it was time to take action myself. He stood as a blockage or barrier from what was behind him, through that blockage he was siletly insinuating the choice would be going to Earth since I could go no other way, plus it was what I wanted to do. Many were going straight to Earth -- it was seen as a "new step" for possible ascension - I immediately took the opportunity because I followed like a dedicated soldier for my duty -- my duty to become a master. I wanted to reach great proportions in the afterlife - I wanted to abstract that "one of a kind" earth experience - I wanted to have my own, unique power and substance - and I saw Earth - as everybody saw Earth the same way, as the "new" perfect target. We were told there were MAJOR consequences for going to Earth -- that is how I knew the reward for "one of a kind Earth ascension" would be great. I blindly believed I could carry this out and become what I wanted to be.

The odd thing is, we knew there were major problems with Earth -- but we did not investigate at all what was going on. It was like we saw the problems -- but I was placed in a position to where -- yet unknown -- there was a preset "safe-guard" to where I would end up -- where I would not end up in a place of horror.

As soon as I got to Earth, it was not at all what I expected it to be. Nor did I become what I wanted to become. I felt tricked. I knew I was not coming back to the afterlife with new ascension status, or coming back at all -- the ascension status I wanted to achieve on Earth was actually already set within my physical make-up, my DNA. And apparently I did not do good enough in the after-life to receive a perfect body, a perfect voice, tons of money, and anything I could possibly want, like the others have done. Where the more you deceived, the more benefits you will have now on Earth.

I also realized recently that my entire afterlife existence was 'programmed' in such a way, it was all predetermined -- all created for me to walk through as a slave in belief I was actually changing and becoming greater.

God, or anu, did not exist in the afterlife -- we had no power to even conceive him -- we were far unable to actually perceive whatever the fuck it was running the entire thing. We saw nothing, at all in relation to a god.

Update: I thought I was going to be god, getting my ascension status from Earth, I would be able to fix the Earth's problems.



What I wrote to someone the other day:

[7/29/2011 9:38:39 PM] Ryan Franklin: i think when we were in the soul construct we were designed to please 'masters', they never said anything, just held a 'barrier' so to speak, and those were going to earth, i decided to immediately do it - despite the consequences that were known (being born without remembering what happend) - a lot of the fucked up shit going on wasn't really paid attention to for some reason, must of been a gamble -- actually a deception to somehow put myself on earth without being fucked over in poverty. In the soul construct i originally wanted to do what was most pleasing to the masters, but they never really responded, just in a way guided me slightly without much force. I wanted to become one of them.

but it would be some kind of 'new embodiment'
when getting to earth.

no, like a new level of ascension
[7/29/2011 9:43:37 PM] Ryan Franklin: or understanding or something
[7/29/2011 9:43:44 PM] Ryan Franklin: like a gain of power
[7/29/2011 9:43:55 PM] Ryan Franklin: reward by going through a new earth process
[7/29/2011 9:44:18 PM] Ryan Franklin: to become a master
[7/29/2011 9:45:01 PM] Ryan Franklin: its odd - like i knew the consequences were really extreme - but i must of just jumped in immediately like a warrior