Ryan 5/19/11

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to maintain a fearful existence of being alone

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my insecurities through judgments on to myself - in judging myself according to preoccupying my vision with others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear moving in my life - thus creating a depression energy where i do not move

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inadequate because of the belief i will never be intimate with anyone

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sorry for myself because i believed i am not responsible as the creator of who i am

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage myself within regret - of not becoming and expanding as who i really am not as who i think i am

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blame someone for believing they deceived me - for allowing myself to suppress thoughts of another within judgments

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow backchat towards another within an experience i had within another - and creating my future experiences with another based on my perception and ego

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe i need to have an intimiate friend that is a girl to come into my life- where i wait and feel sorry for myself, not taking responsibility in stopping it -- instead i would hold on to long time grudges of me being victimized in hope to change by receiving attention in the future

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to express sorrow - and sadness - and giving up through crying - to enable my victimized -- helpless existence as my mind

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe i have free choice - within wanting to hide from the world and do my own thing - because i do not see myself fully commited within my world and what im doign due to the feeling of hope - not having hope -believing that what i am doing is not of any purpose or worth

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself believe i am not worth anything because of having reasons and excuses based on wanitng another to provide me worth -- where i would experience no worth from what i want -- i would feel worthless and want to die

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consistently believe in the same things based on energy through out my day - where i determine my entire life based on feeling depressed and drowzy without meaning-- and using that as the background to not fully be committed to myself and within what i am doing

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ---- feel absolutely powerless towards the circumstances within my world towards other people. Where i have given into peer pressure -- given into my mind, my thoughts, my habits, my addictions, my reactions on purpose because i have not allowed myself to stop and actually change in a better direction -- not allowing myself to slow down and recognize the main pripority points in time needed to take responsibility the most within changing.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base myself upon motivation where i indulge in the things i do want to do -=- and completely isolate and block out myself from my real responsibilities.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to determine who i am through memory - basing my judgments and understandings on memory through a desired outcome/

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deem myself less than according to how ive experienced myself within my mind within the past

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to become more within my the thoughts i possess within my mind - in ana attempt to become something mroe according to how i think others would react - in order to be accepted a certain, desirable way - in which i have possessed before, that goal within my mind constantly -- where it has happened so much it automatically comes up through my participation as who ive integrated myself as -- it is a repetivie thing- therefor i will only work with what is here and stop it through self forgivenesss

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to completely fear -- creating dred inside me - related to the point of being forgotten by others -- replaced by the idea of another i have -- fear of living completely alone and completely rejected absolutely towards the point within death -- fearing death because i believe i am inadqeuate within this life here -- as life --a s oonly one breath